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Who is Man for Woman and Who is Woman for Man? - Fr. Tom Loya

Who is Man for Woman and Who is Woman for Man? - Fr. Tom Loya


This is the first of two talks given by Fr. Loya at the Second National Catholic Singles Conference. (This talk is best on DVD because of Fr. Loya's use of visual aids.)




Marriage problems do not exist. The problems spouses encounter come from the fact he does not know why he is a man and she does not know why she is a woman. They do not know how to be for each other. They also misunderstand the language their bodies speak. Pope St John Paul II’s theology of the body presents a view of the human person which explains the why of man and woman and how they are to be for each other.


God exists in a communion of three persons who are in relationship with each other: the Trinity. God formed man and woman in His image in order that they might be in communion with Him and with each other. Gender is therefore purposeful and not arbitrary. The design of the human body speaks a language, reflecting God and our legitimate needs and fears. God goes outside of Himself in order to unite intimately with His creation in a spousal relationship. The Church, formed of men and women, is the bride of Christ. 


A woman’s body is designed in concentric circles and reflects that God is tender, relational, and loving. The language of her body speaks of receptivity and says “Fill me.” Women are designed to be fulfilled, connected, and to receive. Woman is therefore the archetype of the Church as a whole. The church, as the bride of Christ, is to stand in a posture of receptivity to God. The purpose of the whole human race is spoken in the design of a woman’s body.


A man’s body is designed in externalities. The language of his body speaks that God is powerful, awesome, and moves outward from Himself. God initiates love. Man is designed to see the point of things and the mission. He is oriented to defend and protect his bride as Christ defended and protected the Church.


The only way we find ourselves is by making a gift of ourselves to others. This is true for the married, the single, and the celibate. Our bodies speak a language by their design and in every action made with them. Honesty in the language of the body will lead to holiness, happiness, and heaven. Dishonesty in the language of the body will lead to getting hurt. When we understand the why of male and female we will understand how to be for each other.




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